Rated Crazy – Warning: Content may cause shock, laughter or even incontinence.
For many people, Christmas is a holiday to celebrate the birth of their Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. I never really bought into the hype. As a child, there was only room for one man in my life worth celebrating and that man was Santa Clause. To me, he was greater than God. He showered...Continue reading
An extra base has been added to the ball field. The asshole is no longer an exit only zone and the vagina is losing its staple, as the preferred hole for penetration. Are vaginas like worn-out t-shirts? Never fitting as good, as the first time you wore them? Or, are assholes like a pair of...Continue reading
Not all of my genius ideas are harmless or beneficial to even myself. Sometimes, they don’t even require lying or dramatics. Every now and then, I have an idea that only requires one drastic action. I have a faint line, that’s pretty hard to cross, but leave it to me to push my own boundaries....Continue reading
I have a strong belief in two things: mole people and ghosts. Since, there is no way in hell, I’ll be venturing deep below New York City, into the maze of no longer functioning subway tunnels. I choose to explore and investigate the latter. I’ve never actually seen a ghost, but sometimes, I just get...Continue reading
My second serious boyfriend, Evan, was 6’2”, had blond hair, piecing blue eyes, and perfect bone structure. He reminded me of a tall Matt Damon, but more importantly he was a Jew. After years of Catholic school, dating a Jew just felt right. Finding an Arian Jew, was the icing on the cake. I moved...Continue reading
I have to admit. I’m really distraught over something. I just feel the phrase “Fuck my Ass” is far too often overlooked. It keeps getting shown up by its’ counter parts: fuck, damn it, shit, motherfucker, god damn it, Jesus Christ, and son of a bitch. After much thought, I believe the source of this...Continue reading
Jorge was my first serious boyfriend and since his name reminded me of a migrant field worker, I called him George instead. Ironically, I later found out George is the English pronunciation of Jorge. The second I saw Jorge (Pronounced as George) I knew I wanted to get to know him and the second I...Continue reading
Two words: COCK SWEATERS. It started out as a fun hobby that combined two of my passions: cocks & crafts, but now I’m starting to think this could be one of the great inventions of our generation! It’s a completely untapped market! My name could go down in history as the first cock attire pioneer....Continue reading
My obsession with the flap began my freshman year of High School. I was cast as Ursula March in our drama department’s production of Sweet Charity. In the musical, my boyfriend, Victor Victorio, was played by the drama club hottie, Chris Stevens. He was a junior at the time and I thought he was absolutely...Continue reading
Year: 2007 Place: NYC Rob Huebel…….. a name that will haunt my dreams. Some of you may know him; most of you probably have no idea of his existence. Rob Huebel is a semi-famous actor/ comedian, but more importantly he has held a spot on my “Future Husband list” for quite some time. My FHL...Continue reading