An extra base has been added to the ball field. The asshole is no longer an exit only zone and the vagina is losing its staple, as the preferred hole for penetration. Are vaginas like worn-out t-shirts? Never fitting as good, as the first time you wore them? Or, are assholes like a pair of jeans fresh out of the dryer? Whatever the case, the vagina is old news. There’s no denying it. The “accidental” slips are becoming far more frequent and the question, “can I put it in your ass” has become a common phrase in the sexual vernacular.
This isn’t just my speculation. According to a survey conducted by the Centers for Disease Control “the incidence of anal relations in the heterosexual population is on the increase.” And other surveys suggest that “seven times as many women as gay men engage in anal intercourse.” It’s clear for every man who doesn’t like anal, there’s a line of anal loving bastards right behind him.
So, how did it start and how has it become such a mainstream obsession? Maybe it’s because women have become so easy, vaginal sex is no longer enough of an accomplishment. It’s lost its bragging rights. Perhaps, it started when some guy came to the realization his poop shared a striking resemblance to his cock. If it could come out, surely it should be able to fit back in. Maybe religious values are the culprit? A trend started by good Christian girls, who saved their virginity by sacrificing their assholes. Who can really say? It is amusing though. To think, men want to stick their cocks up a hole shit slides out of daily, when there’s a shit free, self-lubricating hole, right around the corner.
The road to anal sex is a slippery slope, quite literally. It starts off innocently enough, a finger or two, then he asks if he can, “just put the head in” and before you know it, you’re like fresh meat at Rikers. Once this occurs your ass is on the menu and it will be ordered frequently.
So, I dare to ask. What’s next??? Will future cocks chart new territory? Will the asshole eventually lose its mystique? Lord knows, men will pretty much stick their dicks in anything. I guess only time will tell. I can say this though, it’s probably a pretty, safe investment to buy some stock in Depends.
